The Hanky

I struggled with even writing anything about my grandfather's passing, which happened a little over a month ago, on this blog. Mainly because it's been a really painful subject for me. I guess I've felt that if I didn't talk about it, then it really didn't happen. Except that it did, and I really miss him. I'm sure that each member of my family has their own memories of him - I know that I have many fond memories of him. Tinkering in the shed, putting contests, lunch with him and grandma, the super loud TV, his pipe, his hankies, his adoring grumpiness, snappy wittiness, to name just a few. But more importantly I have had regrets about what I wish I had said to him before he left us. That I loved him very much. I wish I had spent more time with him. I guess we all have felt that way though.

Gavin will never know him the way that I knew him. Though I'm contented to know that my "honey", as I called him, got to hold him - both in the hospital and at his 80th birthday party. He was so excited to hold him, so proud. At least Baeleigh had some time with him. I hope that both of them will be able to spend more time with my grandma.

What made me decide to write this though was one because I just need to get it off my chest, to grieve I suppose, but also because I was reminded a few weeks ago and again after a discussion with my grandma on Thursday about his things that I had a hanky of his. One of his quintessential hankies. The ones that he always kept in his pocket and loudly blew his nose with. He handed me a hanky on my wedding day, in a moment when I was so touched that I had teared up. He gave me that hanky to dry my eyes and had folded it in the same way that he always folded them. I still have that hanky, folded exactly the way that he handed it to me, never washed. And, it never will be. My grandma asked me (and my dad) if there was anything that I wanted of my grandfather's. But I already have what I wanted: the hanky. In my little box of things to remember from my wedding, and that's where it will stay.

I love you "honey".

My Days Are Numbered

It's back to work in 8 days. Reality is starting to sink in. Mainly because not only will I be going back but I'm also starting a new job. So, I've been trying to go in here and there to transition work over to my colleagues as well as drive in to Baltimore to meet my new bosses. I'm very excited to get started but sad that I'll have to leave my little boy at home. He is, of course, in very capable hands with Un Chu, my daycare provider. Regardless, I'll miss hanging out with my little guy.

It's amazing how fast 3 months has gone. It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital, or waking up for 2 hour feedings. Well at least I can be consoled that he'll still want to fall asleep in Mommy's arms for a while longer. You see...Gavin's a snuggler. He wants to constantly be with Mommy. So, I'll have to soak up my fill when I get home every night. I guess I'll savor those moments a little more rather than taking them for granted and wanting a little break now and then.

What Dr. Spock Doesn't Tell You

Never did I expect during Gavin's morning diaper change to discover that a 10 week old boy can have...ahem..."morning wood". Kinda freaked me out but there it was, plain as day. A little woody. Ewww. Where was that in all those baby books? As if his morning poo wasn't enough in the morning for mommy to deal with. I think I need to hand off the morning diaper changes to daddy.

My First All-Day Two Kid Outing

Ok, so Friday I decided I would go to Tysons with two kids in tow to purchase a lamp for our rec room at Z Gallerie, as well as purchase some clothes that my fat ass could fit into for my new job. I gotta learn how to juggle two out some time, right? I was making fairly good progress in getting out of the house - dressed myself, fed all of us, packed the diaper bag and loaded them up in the car. Off we went to Tysons. Mind you Gavin is the ONLY baby that I know that doesn't like car rides. He literally screams the WHOLE time. But miraculously he was good on the ride there - looking around, nodding off. It was great. Bae played her Leapster.

I loaded Gavin up in the Moby wrap (think African mother) and proceeded to get my shopping on. Everything was just going way too well - well, at least in terms of my kids behaving, not in the actual clothes purchasing department (I won't even get into how upsetting/depressing it was to shop with a post-pregnancy body that is much larger and gelatinous than I'm used to). Then Gavin's next feeding time was coming up and the you know what hit the fan. Hmmm, no bottle. Yes, Crissy forgot to actually pack the bottle. Formula check, bottle nope. To top it off I had let him sleep a little past his 4-hour feeding time, so when he did wake up it wasn't going to be pretty. Sure enough, about 10 minutes after this little epiphany, who wakes up? Yep. So, I bee-lined for the exit and my car. I plugged in the nearest grocery store and screeched out of that parking lot like a bat outta hell. Gavin was starting to fuss by now. I bought a bottle at Giant, rinsed it out the best I could and made a bottle for him after securing a seat at Chicken Out (just in the knick of time b/c he was just about to have a meltdown on me). What I didn't realize is that Gavin apparently telepathically tag-teamed his sister to begin meltdown mode. So while I fed Gavin, Baeleigh who was initially super excited over her chicken noodle soup proceeded to frustrate me with picking at her food. She whined and whined, wanting to eat nothing but the bread and her chocolate milk. Once again, the food wars were underway.

Now realize that in my hurry, I had decided to go back to the mall for the lamp that I had purchased (I had to pick it up around back). But in the chaos, I was so relieved to have lunch over with and a baby with a fully belly that I was focused on heading home. I was half way through Georgetown and stuck in downtown traffice 11 miles from Tysons when I realized - no freakin' lamp. So, I had to turn back around, realizing that this meant I'd most definitely be in rush hour traffic as it was nearly 4pm by now. I picked up the lamp which of course only fit in the front passenger seat - so safe - with just enough room to peak around the front of it to see my side mirror, and headed for home. Once again, I used the nav system but of course she wants to take me north on the beltway. Not knowing how to redirect the nav system, I was stuck. So, I had to go around practically the whole beltway in rush hour. Apparently, the tag-team decided to switch back to Gavin, who now wakes up pissed that he's still in his blasted car seat. Screaming commences. And, when I say screaming I mean foaming at the mouth screaming...the....whole...way...home. I think out of the two hours that it took to get home he screamed for an hour and a half of it. Do you know how hard it is not to road rage with a 9 week old screaming behind you non-stop? Not easy.

My last highlight of the day, a very long day, I open the door to find a 5 inch praying mantis sitting (pictures coming) on the inside of our front door's sidelight. Aren't these good luck or something? I guess he jumped in when I opened the door. Gave me the heeby-jeebies. Max eyed it as soon as Baeleigh let him out and immediately tried to kill it. I think the praying mantis won. Max kept sort of shaking his head and snorting even though he had cornered the poor thing. I held Max back long enough for the praying mantis to leap back outside. I had to literally coax him over to the garden. He keep turning his nasty little triangular head around towards me as to say, "Bitch, don't push me. I'll go when I'm damn good and ready".

I'm beat. Well, at least the lamp looks great.

North Beach's Friday Night Farmer's Market

You know I hadn't mentioned this before but the North Beach Friday Night Farmer's Market is fantastic. Set off of 5th street and Bay, there is a nice mix of farmers coupled with the boardwalk and beach right there. It's nice to just take Baeleigh and Gavin down there and walk around for some fresh fruits and veggies then scurry over to the beach for a little bit. Sometimes there's even live entertainment. Best of all it's Friday evenings, so you can actually get down there after work and not ruin your weekend.

To check out your local farmer's market, go to: http://www.mda.state.md.us/md_products/farmers_market_dir.php

Locking In on His Second Championship

A snippet from NMRAracing.com:

“All shook up” is a good way to describe the state of ACT Factory Stock going into Columbus, and more was in store over the weekend. Defending champ Tommy Godfrey was first in qualifying with an 11.262, followed by the only guy left to unseat him, John Leslie, Jr., who was carrying an 11.472. Louis Sylvester was third at 11.612, while Jay Dold was batting cleanup with an 11.713. A dropped valve and holed piston in the burnout box in the last round of quals put Leslie out of the picture, and Godfrey made the most of it, going all the way to the finals on Sunday, where he’d be matched against Matt Amrine, the FS rookie who scored a shocking win over Godfrey in the final round at Joliet. Amrine broke out the chainsaw and left the tree in Godfrey’s lap with a .034-.147 holeshot, but the eleven-sixty pace he’d been on all day wasn’t going to do it as Godfrey pulled an 11.224 out of his bag of tricks and earned his first winner’s circle appearance since Bradenton last year.

Mr. Social

Not only did we get an extra special visit from our favorite cuz, Jessica but we've been working hard to make our first sounds and giggles these past couple of weeks. What started as sort of just an "O' shape with his mouth and sort of an "ekk" sound. I caught a little bit on this video, though it's like he knows he's being recorded because he gets much less talkative. The giggles though can melt even the most exasperated mommy after a long trying day. He's been smiling at me for weeks but now he'll sort of giggle. I say sort of because it's more like a nerdy little inhale than a laugh right now, but just too damn cute. Today he even started giggling at the bouncer's activity bar. He seems to find the monkey downright hilarious.

As you can see, Baeleigh is showing off her awesome braid that Jessica put in her hair. She was very proud of it. She still had it in when we went off to Namaw and Pop-pop's house later that afternoon.

Hangin with my Peeps

I couldn't resist but to sit him amongst some of Baeleigh's furry stuffed friends in her room. He chilled in that SpongeBob chair for a good few minutes. Guess he liked the company.