Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Red Light, GREEN Light

I used to play this game as a kid. Along with freeze tag and Red Rover. I never knew that somehow I'd be playing a version of it as an adult. Except now, it's not so much a game as a direct reflection of how well my day is going.

You see, Baeleigh's behavior system at daycare is based off a stoplight scheme. Green = good. Yellow = warning. Red = bad. Pretty simple. Five greens in a row and she gets to pick from the treasure box, except over the last several months she hasn't even seen that treasure box. In fact, she's more typically on red than green. In turn, Mommy, after a hard day at work, gets to come home to that big, fat Red. It looms over me as I drive home - is she or isn't she? As soon as I walk in the door, you can almost feel the thickness of the air, the silence - the "Uh-oh, she's home." The gig is up and any last few giggles that I hear before I come in the door cease. I might be approached by a sad face, a suck-up or simply tears. All of which quickly forewarn me of what's next in store.

And, the new predicament has been how to approach discplining her for this "red" day without making Mommy (or Daddy) the evil, mean parents. Difficult, to say the least. Especially, when it's the third in a row and you want relief from disciplining just as much as she does. We've tried timeouts, no TV, early bedtimes and nothing seems to break it. My new approach is to focus more on the positive of what she can do if she's on green and reasoning with her that she creates her own destiny. More of a "you can DO it!" sort of pep talk, but she still has to "do the time", so to speak" for her crime. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. Today - she's on green. And, I let out a big sigh of relief that I can go home and celebrate that green with her.

If anybody's got any other suggestion though, I'm all ears.

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